The time I fell in love with a boy, that was gay.

The time I fell in love with a boy, that was gay. 

Hello.

Welcome back.

If you’ve not read my first blog, i recommend doing so before you read this tragic story. 

The story is about how I caught feelings for a boy.

That was gay. 

So my future husband wherever you may be.. your biggest competition is.. a gay boy. 

Now we’ll call this boy “Lorenzo”.

“Lorenzo, Lover of My soul 👄”

But the fact that I had a crush on Lorenzo isn’t the most shocking thing for me. Ysee, Lorenzo was vegan.

I had a crush. On a vegan. 

!!!! I HAD A CRUSH ON A VEGAN!!!!

No hate to Vegans, but me personally. I couldn’t date one. (I do rate those that are vegan tho, it’s just a hard task for me).

But for Lorenzo, I was willing to see past the grass eating. 

If that is not love. I don’t know what is. 

Now when I get a crush. I don’t tell anyone. Why? Couldn’t tell you. 

I think it’s the fear, because I’ve never actually told a guy that I’ve liked them. So me telling others and that news going around to that person. Scares me.

Ew vulnerability🤺✋

And Me and Lorenzo were in the same friend group, so telling someone else that I had feelings for him was the ultimate foolish move in my opinion. 

I was however confident to tell girls that I was not close with AT ALL. 

The conversations would often be like:

🙎‍♀️“Gabs do you have a crush on anyone?” 

🙎🏻‍♀️“Yeahhh…. I like Lorenzo” 

🙎‍♀️“Isn’t he gay?”

🙎🏻‍♀️“No.”

EE-👏DEE-👏YAT👏

The way he acted. What he said. What others said. The fashion. It was not “Straight”.

👏👏THE SIGNS WERE THERE👏👏

MY GOD THE SIGNS WERE THERE

I EVEN stalked his Instagram followings. I specifically put in search words like “LGBTQ” and “Gay” and “Pride”.

And had seen he was following a history page dedicated to the LGBTQ community.

A PHAT SIGN WAS SHUN ABOVE ME. 

And yet 

..

I just assumed he was an Ally 💅🐈

I’d like to use this time to apologise to Lorenzo. I definitely cockblocked you from the amount of times I had to tell people you were straight, when in fact you were not. I apologise for this inconvenience massively. 

One time, there was this drama in my friend group where news came around that this girl had a crush on Lorenzo, we’ll call her Katie. 

And when I heard this. I WAS FUMING. 

 I was.. 

JEALOUS.

The poor girl.

Me and Katie would often walk back home together. But when I found out she “liked him”, I left her for dust. It was not a pretty sight to see. 

The next day, I heard that she didn’t actually fancy Lorenzo. No. She was gay herself. 

Talk about a plot-twist

Once again. My gaydar failed me. 

#noreplies

I never told Lorenzo that I had feelings for him at the time. But even if I did, I doubt anyone would take notice, considering everyone knew he was gay. 

As for when I FINALLY realised he was gay. Was a few years later…

when he had a boyfriend.

Me and Lorenzo are still friends. He does know I had feelings for him, but when I told him. He didn’t believe me. I don’t think he still does. But perhaps this blog will make him realise that my gaydar was truly the worst to ever exist. 

Thank you Lorenzo. Your existence truly showed me that unrequited love does actually exist.