Shizz n Gigs

MY FIRST BLOG

Hello

Welcome to my Blog.

Greetings 👄

^The first words of the Angel Gabriel, who I was named after. 

Thought that’d be a good start to my first blog..

But it’s only been 4 sentences and I’ve already lied, I wasn’t really named after the Angel Gabriel. The name came about from this woman called Sheila. Thank you Sheila, you gave me a leng name. 

Anyways that’s my intro sorted. 

Back into the real bit. Now I don’t really know how a blog works but I think you just write what’s on your mind or past stories. So that is what I’ll have in my blog, I’ll pretend you guys are my therapists and I’ll destroy your mental health through my trauma. 

Joking

Or am I? 

Nah joking, I’ll have all sorts on here. 

So the topic I’d like to start off with is a joyful one don’t worry.

It’s about my experience 

My experience with 

✨💋Sleep Paralysis💋✨

See I told you, don’t worry guys it all goes up from here. 

Ps. I’d like to say I’m writing this all from the megabus coach, am in hard core traffic right now and listening to some hardcore Drum n bass. Thank you Thomas, I’ve downloaded your playlist and in about 2 weeks I shall be a proper raver. 

Fun fact: I have my first rave next month 😌. Maybe I’ll do a blog about that. 

Anyways, sorry back on topic

My experience with 

✨💋Sleep Paralysis💋✨

Now with sleep paralysis. It can come in all forms. My experience wasn’t a heavy one, I’d say I had it for 2 months. It wouldn’t be night after night, but it’d happen in the space of 2 months. 

It was after my mums passing where I began to have it. Not straight after, but like that is low-key what it started from I’d say. 

Geeze this is DEEEPPP, maybe this will be my second blog. But to be honest it is the first topic which came into my head, it was either that or a blog about my love for my dog. 

Yeahh maybe I should’ve written about Teddy.. oh well.. next time.

Now I don’t know with some of these dreams if you call it sleep paralysis or nightmares. It was a mix of both.

I’d have nightmares where I’d be in a normal setting, and then something bad would happen. Ie someone I cared about would’ve fainted and I would try to get help but I couldn’t speak, like no sound would come out of my mouth. And I’d struggle to move. Yh bit traumatic lol 

Or like I’d be awake in bed, and I couldn’t move but felt and saw the ceiling close in on me.

Oh my lawd this is proper booky.

Now following ones that came about were WEIRRRDDD. 

 For example I’d have a nap, and then in my dream I was aware I was in it, and I really wanted to get out of it. And I even said it to the people in my dream.

“I know this isn’t real get me out”. 

I couldn’t tell you how they responded just because I have awful memory, but it was quite mad. While I was in that state I would try to move my pinky (in the real world) (had seen on the internet it’s a good way to get out) and would feel it move but I wouldn’t wake up properly.  And my brother who was in the living room with me at the time told me I was just snoring quite loudly and that was it.

Quite funny now I come to think of it lol. Very contrary to how I felt. 

But anyways, I would have quite a few dreams like that and would normally include tall lanky dark shadow figures that wouldn’t harm me, but would be walking around nearby me. Nevertheless they made me uncomfortable. 

One time, I was laying on my side. It was around 4am, and everyone was asleep. I was not. *this wasn’t in a dream, this was me conscious*. 

It gets a bit booky from here i can’t lie, maybe you wanna skip this bit. I might not include this in.. I’ll start writing it and decide if I want to get rid of it before releasing. 

Now I felt this so called figure hug me from behind. But it wasn’t like a nice cuddle, no this one felt quite Pervy and the worst of it was that I couldn’t move or speak. I felt paralysed. And I knew it wasn’t a person, the figure felt like a “phantom”, like a bad spirit. And I was FUMING at this, I was swearing in my head all sorts of things like. 

“If this thing doesn’t get off me and I get movement I’m going to knock👏it👏out👏swear down”. 

The South East London was about to come out of me FOR UH REAL that night. 

After what felt like a minute, I felt it was gone, turned around. And there was nothing. 

This night was followed by another dream of me sitting on my stairs, and seeing the tall shadow looking figure and it turning its head to me which it had never done before. THANKFULLY, I woke up the moment it happened because I would’ve wet the bed if not. 

Later that day, I told my sister about my dreams. As to why I didn’t tell anyone earlier. I’m not sure, But once I’d wake up from a nightmare I’d be like “wtf just happened” and then go down for breakfast and slay the day away as usual and forget about it. 

Sleep eat repeat. 

Anyways so I told her about them, and she told me how one of her friends had them quite a bit and his experience was similar to mine. And then she asked me a very humbling question. 

“Have you prayed about it?” 

…

Had I prayed about it?

!?HAD I PRAYED ABOUT IT!?

Answer. 

No I hadn’t. 

I felt so stupid.

I’m a Christian, grown up in a Christian family. Always prayed before dinner. Always went to church. Always prayed for the smallest things (before exams, for a dog, for a new phone, for a boyfri- what?). And when it came to something that was starting to impact me quite a bit. I forgot to pray. 

Sorry God x 

Now with prayer, I have prayed for things and it hasn’t happened, or sometimes it has. Depends on Gods plan innit x 

But honestly, whether you’re religious or not, I highly recommend praying even if it’s a short sentence. Quite therapeutic. 

Anyways, then Kassia told me if I have a similar dream again. I basically have to renounce it. I’m not sure if “renounce” is the word. But I’m going to explain what she meant. 

Yknow in those horror movies, the exorcist, the nun etc. So in films like that, to defeat the bad guy. You get that character that holds up the cross to the demon and is like “IN THE NAME OF JESUS I GET RID OF YOU blah blah”. 

Yh she wanted me to do that. 

It was a bit humbling to think about, I can’t lie. It shouldn’t have, but the thought of me doing that embarrassed me. I was like 

“Yh nah Im good x✋👄”. 

Because imagine I see this tall ass slender man, I just yell at him like “IN THE NAME OF JE-“ and he dropkicks me. 

Bit embarrassing no? 

But as a Christian. I shouldn’t be scared. 

So anyways, I went to bed with that advice. 

And boom. 

I was on my stairs, tall shadow man was back again. 

Now I was meant to yell out “In JeSuS’ NaME I ReBuKE yOU” , but the figure was really scary. So it didn’t work out how I wanted. 

Anyways, it turned its head to me and I just went. 

“JESUS”. 

I didn’t mean to, but the situation was so scary that I felt like a baby kitten that had just come out of its mums cra-.

Anyways, immediately woke up after that. And I’m very happy to say I haven’t had sleep paralysis since.